Like most students, I moved away from my tiny comfort bubble and landed in Mangalore at the age of 18 for my Bachelor’s and Master’s. For someone who was born and brought up in the UAE all her life, this was a scary change. While most vouched for the freedom that comes with living away from parents, I feared the responsibilities and the challenges that were set to come my way.

Living alone in my parents’ apartment required me to take responsibility for multiple aspects of my daily life. I received a fixed amount every month, which I had to manage my expenses and be the adult that I wasn’t prepared to be. The independence was empowering but it did cause a lot of stress. I was constantly budgeting, meal prepping, managing time for chores and academics and trying to avoid mental breakdown; all at the same time.

Being physically away from home had a psychological impact. The distance made me aware of feelings such as loneliness, self-doubt and emotional overwhelm, especially during my Master’s. On some days, I had to be my own parent. Adjusting to this situation required me to learn to manage my emotions independently and develop healthier coping mechanisms. Over time, I learned to live with myself.

To navigate through this journey, I consciously adopted strategies that supported my mental wellbeing:

  • Establishing a daily routine for structure.
  • Budgeting finances mindfully for groceries and transportation (I did go broke in the first 6 months)
  • Video calling family every day to stay emotionally connected.
  • Building healthy and supportive relations
  • Acknowledging my emotional difficulties and staying with the feeling
  • Going on regular walks and working out.
  • Ensuring that my space is neat and clean because our space reflects our mind.

All of this helped me navigate through the challenges while also learning to be responsible and enjoying the perks of freedom. 18-year-old me wouldn’t know the difference between 500dhs and 500rs, but a 25-year-old me can book a ticket to another city and can easily go about independently without having a mental breakdown. I firmly believe this also greatly shaped my career as a Counselling Psychologist.

Moving away from home can be very challenging in the beginning but with a little awareness, support and coping strategies, it can become a meaningful period of personal and psychological growth and development.

ILHAAM SHAIK, SCHOOL COUNSELOR