A few days ago, my child came home with a test paper. The marks were lower than usual. Nothing dramatic happened, but I could see a little disappointment on their face.

“Not happy with the marks?” I asked.

“No. I thought I would do better.”

Instead of immediately asking, “Why did you get so few marks?”, I asked, “What do you think happened?”

There was a pause. The paper was looked at again, question by question.

“I think I need to practise more and be more careful,” came the reply.

We spoke about a few silly mistakes, a couple of questions that needed more understanding, and how a little more revision could have made a difference. There was no lecture, no comparison with anyone else, and certainly no dramatic reaction. Just a simple conversation about what went wrong and what could be done differently next time.

That small moment made me think about how we teach children to deal with setbacks.

We often celebrate good marks, prizes and achievements—and rightly so. But children also need to learn that not every result will be perfect. Sometimes the marks are lower, an answer goes wrong, or the outcome simply does not match the effort we expected.

And that is okay.

A low mark should not become a label. It is feedback. It tells us there is something to revisit, practise or understand better.

As parents, our reaction matters. Instead of making a child feel that a disappointing result is a failure, we can help them ask, “What can I do differently next time?”

Accepting a setback does not mean being satisfied with it. It means acknowledging it without losing confidence. It means learning from it, making the necessary changes and trying again.

Children will face many such moments as they grow – and so will we. Not every plan will work, not every effort will bring the expected result, and not every attempt will be successful.

What matters is what we do next.

Pause. Reflect. Learn. Try again. Move forward.

Because sometimes, a disappointing result is not a sign that we cannot do better. It is simply a reminder that we still can.

Ranjani Sekaran, Parent of Danishka Saminathan, Grade 4